I should have expected this to continue when we returned from our lovely ( but overly long) Sushi, and it did. By the time when we finally got free to party it was two o clock in the morning, and everyone really needed a drink and to cut lose. I went off on my own to try and find the Green Room party and see if I could meet any industry pro’s. The parties this year were busted early on and the ones I did find where a bust on the networking front. They also quickly drained the party tanks on the BARBAK tm, so I was headed home in little less than an hour to find my lovely wife and my friends Betty and Law.( names changed to protect the guilty).

When I found them, it was not pretty, funny but not pretty. Rita and her Boy had already left for the evening, and Betty and Law were 3 sheets to the wind. All Betty would talk about was “ Kon Goal” and someone named Waldo; who was apparently meant to be “Kon Goal”. Law on the other hand had other plans to make Betty her “Kon Goal”.

Now Betty and Law are two adult women (and I do mean women), but I have a rule; I never let my friends jump in to bed with each other while drunk, unless I really think it’s a good idea and I know they would do it sober. With all the drama this weekend I just could not see this ending well. So I grabbed Betty and started to drag her off to her room with Law stumbling, arms around her neck. So I am basically dragging them both behind me right onto the elevator.

Now, Law must have thought this was her last chance to change Betty’s and my mind because Law grabbed Betty with the strength only a dunk powered by Mister Vat TM could muster. She threw Betty against the elevator door and started to work her lips on her neck for all she was worth. My wife, I, and everyone else were taken aback by this sudden fury of passion. We all just kind of stood there and watched slack jawed as Law went at it like an animal. Of course in all of this none of us, Law and Betty included, put two and two together and realized that they were leaning against the elevator doors…which opened promptly on our arrival on Betty’s floor… dumping them in to the elevator lobby in full view of a small number of shocked and not so shocked on lookers; after all it is A-Kon at 4 am on a Saturday night. The amazing thing here is that Law did not even miss a beat, and ended up straddling Betty as she made out with her right there on the lobby floor. My lovely wife suggested we throw water on them like dogs going at in the front yard. I opted to wait and see if we needed to film this. Things started to get even hotter and Betty ended up on her back and Law’s hand went ….. Cough… yes there is a reason I am telling you this story. And about now I bet your wondering why. See about this time a guy walked up to me and asked me a question.

Now, normally when I am watching hot girl on girl action not much will distract me as most things I hear are related to the event being watched, and why the hell would I care what some guy had to say to me? But this question was different, as it had nothing to do with what was going on in front of me. It cut though the layers of lizard brain instinct. It was also I question I had heard all night.

Pointing to the bar on my back, he asks, “Hey man is that like a bar on your back?”

Turning to this young 20 something year old man, giving him careful appraisal, I answered his question with the only question which was not on my mind.

“Dude, what the fuck are you gay!, I mean LOOK!” pointing at law and Betty with Betty’s skirt now hiked up so far as to not be decent anywhere but Vegas.

At this point a young woman who had just gotten off the elevator, had walked up and started watching the girls. At my reply to this young man she chimed in, “Yeah dude! Fuck I’m straight and I’m even turned on by this”

The young man offered some weak mumbled words in his defense, and fell quiet. I suggested that that he might have a chance to with this new girl as she was becoming more and more interested in the floor show.

She replied, looking this poor dude up and down, “No, I don’t think so. I am married, and too…Straight WOMAN for him” . Oooohhh! Burn.

So what’s the moral of this story? Simple. When you are presented with two hot chicks making out in public just don’t question and watch. Anything less would be uncivilized.

.HART